What Will Your Answer Be If Your Loved One Says That What Will You Do If I’m Dating Another Person?
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Yes, it is absolutely possible. It has happened to me. I was seeing a wonderful man for several years. We loved each other, but he could not bring himself to take the step into commitment, into marriage – which is what I wanted, and which was an agreement between us. So we ceased seeing each other romantically, though he often came to my gallery to visit and talk.
I started dating again, and soon met a man with whom I had a strong connection almost immediately. We became very close and quite inseparable. I stopped seeing any other men. After many months, I also told my previous friend – on one of his visits – that I was seriously involved in a romance. He began to weep. I told him, “but dear, you knew this was inevitable, didn’t you?”. He left, in tears. The next day, he called me, proposing marriage. When I called the current man, telling him what had transpired, he exclaimed, “but I want to marry you!”
The next two weeks were challenging, to say the least, while I tried to figure out which of these two wonderful men I wanted to be with. I loved them both. But they were very different men. I finally realized that they each echoed – appealed – to different aspects of me. One created a strong response to my intellectual self and that is where we had our strongest relationship, while the other opened the emotional side of me. One was not better than the other, but they offered different lives, different marriages, different unfoldings of me. And the things I brought to each of them were subtly different also.
Now here is the irony. I accepted the long-time love (intellect). I had, after all, waited for him for a long time, and I knew him best. A week later, he called me and reneged, saying that he found he “just couldn’t do it after all, although he felt like a jerk”. I agreed that he was a jerk, but I had a great fall back, so it was okay. I made plans with my other guy (emotions) for a May wedding. I was blissful. Then, three weeks before the wedding, I received information about him that made marriage impossible. Friends, yes, marriage, no.